Personality adjustment

I know your not supposed to say things like this but i don't really care. i have actually hated my first year at uni, it is too hard to be away from home (most importantly my cats) i share a flat with the most vile people on this planet and due to the dire state of the kitchen i never go in there, i feel unbelievably lonely all the time and even my so called friends seem to think its ok to just leave me by myself permantly, i would like to think that if i had a friend in the same situation that i would invite them over or go over to them instead of constantly blow them off. Being blown off is something i must have stamped on my forehead, ever since i was little people have always seemed to think its ok to just leave me on my own, not include me or just generally forget i exist even when i organise people don't want to come, and i have no idea what it is that i'm putting out there to put people of me so much.

i got told today that people dont want to revise with me because i know too much and it panicks them, that's great but i dont feel confident why the hell do people constantly think im ok when im not. this isn't what i need to be thinking about the night before an exam. i don't know what to do with myself anymore. clearly i need to adjust my personality i just don't know how. I have 10 days of sitting in my uni room all by myself, with a skype call a day to my parents while i constantly ask people if they want to come over or go out just to be told they already have plans. i'm fed up of it, but it must be something i'm doing because literally the whole world does it to me. I don't generally think of myself as a push over like i will tell people if i have a problem but people still seem fit to walk all over me or more to the point pretend i don't exist.

feeling majorly blue right now. I also want to add that i have an exam tomorrow instead of revising i have just sat around and moped. i don't know anything for this stupid exam and I know im going to fail, the work is just too boring to stay in my head, and its going to be 3 hours tomorrow of not having the foggiest idea what to write. and then after that a whole 10 days of lonliness.

American TV Networks are Stupid

so i am raving mad that the unbelievably stupid people in america have cancelled the secret circle after only one season. it was the nuts of a programme, good storylines, good acting basically good everything and it's one of the network's highest rated shows!!! and they decide to keep some god awful programme like nikita (never watched it. its far too advertised so clearly its crap, and had lower ratings than the secret circle), and with desperate housewives finishing as forever and all other good programmes soon reaching their season finales. WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA WATCH THIS SUMMER!! There's only so much TOWIE a person can watch. I need new TV viewing.

Where did my brain go?

So i appear to have lost all ability to revise. I don't seem to be able to concentrate on anything for more than 2 minutes and even if I do nothing will stay in my brain. You would think my over extreme competitiveness and desire to get a first this year would drive me to work hard but no, and only having a week before my exams you would i think i'd do something. But no. I also can't stop eating, once again boredom. Clearly weight watchers is not going well this month.

I realise that the month of may brings stress and horror to anybody aged from 15 to well anyone in any kind of education, but i really do miss the days when may meant the half term was coming soon. I miss primary school in general, I didn't have to learn about the joy that is EU law then. The only thing I had to worry about was what I would play at lunchtime, and if it was football how would I make my friends not play it. I also miss being clever, I mean from the day I started to school to finishing my GCSEs I was like a superbrain used to beat everyone at everything and not even try. Got to sixth form and BLAM! bye bye superbrain and hello having to work. Well I decided not to work thinking my not so superbrain would get me through and my life long dream of becoming a doctor blew up in my face. Now i'm studying law and working towards a career I don't really want to do because it pays a lot of money, and I only picked law because its a flashy degree that when you say 'i'm studying law' people go wow.

Anyway I should probably go back to staring into space with my books open in front of me attempting to learn about free movement rights within the EU. It's as exciting as it sounds :|. After lunch... Weight watchers soup calls!

Boredom Has Driven Me to Blog

So blogging... it's like writing a diary but on the internet. Something that everyone can read but that nobody will. Absolute genius.

Anyway I have no strong feelings to blog right now. I have found working out how to make a blogger challenging enough. Back to the revision that has driven me to blog in the first place.